Caregiver’s Corner: the Rules of Cause and Effect Change with Dementia Onset

Did you watch this week’s video? Do you refrigerate your water so it won't go bad as quickly? It’s silly, right? Clearly.

With water, we understand that the rules are different than they are for, say, milk. In the same way, when we get clear on the causes and effects involved in assisting someone with dementia, we can learn to create the most beneficial effects much more often.

We just have to understand that the old rules of cause and effect may not apply anymore. But they do still apply.

For instance, your loved one might have appreciated a gentle reminder in the past. I don’t know about you, but I forget why I walked into a room at least 2 or 3 times a day. A nudge in the right direction is a big relief. Or, when my partner reminds me where I set down my cell phone, I’m grateful for the hour she saved me looking all over the house.

Those are my usual reactions. But how might they change if I was self-conscious about forgetting and worried about dementia? Would I respond to the world differently if I was in pain that I couldn’t or wouldn’t communicate? Would I be angry or afraid? Probably.

The point is that we might have a difficult time drawing nice straight lines between a cause and an effect when someone has dementia. For instance, when someone with dementia doesn’t want to step on a doormat because they think they will fall, it seems strange at first.

However, once you understand what’s causing their fear, it makes sense. Would you want to step into a big black abyss? Of course not.

The effects are easy to see: fear, anger, social withdrawal, care refusal… It’s the causes that trip us up, because we don’t have the context for so much of what’s happening — especially when we first get started as caregivers.

What cause is creating the effects you see? Keep asking those questions. Keep researching.

Dementia does not remove your loved one from the great chain of cause and effect that has rippled through our universe from the beginningless past. There is a cause for all of the effects that you see. When you find it, that will help you uncover new ways to cope and care.

Their causes may not be all that different from yours. However, they may be wearing disguises. Keep looking.

📰 This Week in Dementia News 📰

Causes, Effects, Behaviors, and Early signs:

• Dementia and anger: What’s the connection and how to cope (Care): like all dementia behaviors, aggression and anger are responses to environment, physical pain, and other factors. In other words, aggression is a form of communication. Here are some ways to hear and respond.

• When dementia doesn’t look like memory loss: The hidden behavioral signs (TOI): dementia isn’t just about memory loss. Moods and behaviors change too. Even personalities can change. This article talks about some of the causes and early warning signs.

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