Caregiver’s Corner: Your Communication Superpower

When it comes to communicating with someone who has dementia, family caregivers can understand the "why" much more quickly than professional caregivers because they know that person's history, their likes and dislikes, and the things that make them "tick."

You don't have to go digging into files or calling family members to know if your loved one like to drink coffee first thing in the morning.

However, you do have to learn how people with dementia communicate as spoken language breaks down. Once you understand that, you have a real advantage in helping your loved one.

To understand this better, let’s think about what you’d like people to know about you if you had dementia? If you couldn’t communicate through language, what would someone need to know in order to care for you effectively?

What are the little things that happen every day that make you happy? Fulfilled? Sad? What agitates you? What calms your agitation? For me, it might look something like this.

Caregivers Should Know This About Ben:

• I love coffee: when I open my door in the morning, put a cup in my hand

• Other foods I love: pizza (pepperoni), spaghetti, New York Strip (medium rare), gummi bears, and sweets in general

• I love cats: they always make me happy. Dogs are ok, I guess.

• I spend a lot of time on my computer creating, writing, and researching

• I have a master’s degree in literature and I love having books available at all times

• My parents had a print shop in our house so I grew up loving paper and writing and editing.

• My moods can change quickly. I get aggravated or annoyed quickly, but that also burns off as soon as I move on to the next thing.

• I’ve been doing martial arts my whole life. If I’m confused, startled, or frightened and I don’t recognize you, stay out of arm’s reach and don’t try to touch me.

• I’ve been practicing meditation since 2005. If you need to redirect me into an activity that will soothe me, ask about that. If I have the bell that signals the start of meditation, just ring that and tell me we’re starting.

If people know just those few facts about me, they will probably have enough to redirect me when I’m agitated and help me feel at home.

What’s your list?

What’s your loved one’s list?

How can you use your “insider knowledge” of your loved one’s history and preferences to assist them when they’re having a hard time? How can you use that knowledge to understand behaviors, moods, and reactions when spoken language breaks down?

Your history with your loved one is your superpower. It can make you more effective than even the best professional caregiver as you care for your loved one in the way that only you can.

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🔗Links to Dementia Communication Tips🔗

• Top 10 Tips for Communicating with Persons with Dementia (Dementia Society): 10 straight-forward and simple tips for effective dementia communication.

• Communication and Alzheimer’s (Alzheimer’s Association): the Alzheimer’s Association talks about different communication strategies for each stage of the disease and links to information on several related topics.

• How Therapeutic Fibbing and Diversion Can Help Loved Ones with Dementia and Alzheimer’s (AARP): the AARP tackles the difficult subject of “therapeutic fibbing” and unpacks some of the subtlety of what this tactic is all about.