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Every week, I pour my heart into these words to make your caregiving journey a little lighter and less lonely. Many of you have shared how these stories have brought comfort, perspective, or even a smile on a hard day.

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Caregiver’s Corner: Dignity and Adaptation

When memory starts to shift, writing things down becomes one of the first and most effective coping strategies. I used to see the notes all over my mom’s apartment as a sad reminder of how much she was losing. I’ve decided that perception needs a reframe.

Now, when I think back on those notes everywhere, it’s not about was being lost. It’s about how my mom was fighting valiantly to preserve: autonomy, routine, and a sense of control.

People in the early stages of dementia often develop these systems naturally. They adapt. They problem-solve. A list isn’t just a reminder—it’s a way to keep doing things for themselves, on their own terms. That notebook by the bed? It’s not clutter. It’s a lifeline to independence. Really, is it so different from my need to put every event on my calendar so I don’t forget it? It’s simply a matter of degree.

Caregivers don’t need to fix this. They just need to support it. Keep pens available. Don’t move the notes without asking. Let the system work. Sometimes the most helpful thing isn’t doing more—it’s stepping back enough to let them do it themselves.

I’ve found that often the most difficult thing for the most caring people is to let someone struggle through something on their own. However, the benefits are enormous. Adaptation kicks in. Workarounds emerge. A notebook becomes a tool. A routine gets written down, then followed, then trusted.

These small acts of organization are more than practical aids. They’re expressions of dignity. Of effort. Of love for the life they’re still living.

We can honor and support these adaptations. It’s a perspective shift that has made a big difference for me.